Graphics by Gabriel Angeles
I used to dream about twin flames and soulmates: those you are destined to meet at a certain point in life and those meant to stick around until the end. I always thought having your person is amazing–I still do. It's amazing how a person can see you naked, vulnerable, and fragile, and still think you are an amazing entity, a worthy human being, a beautiful soul. It's amazing how they can find the right words and finish your sentences like they have studied every inch of your mind. They’ve always seemed so believable as you see them in real life, and you hope that someday you get yours too.
I searched for my person in different people, hoping my soul would spark with theirs as our worlds intertwined. Yet I always find myself alone as the trail goes on, with no hand to hold, no heart to hear, and no eyes to fall deep in.
My idea of love makes me want to stop believing in it.
Maybe I would never find my person, maybe soulmates aren’t real, maybe I was destined to be alone in this world, and maybe my soul does not have a mate.
I grew tired of searching for something I could not find in others. I couldn’t find my person until I slowly realized that they were here all along. I was not kind to them. I was cruel. It was someone I kept pushing back and ignoring because of doubts and diffidence.
The bulb lit up like a flame inside.
I am my own person. I always have been.
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