Article by Ryanne Gail Kim Graphics by Gibrianne Derequito
December 15, 2021
The most wonderful time of the year is finally here. Despite COVID-19 here to stay for the second time, the presence of Christmas is very much alive. Everyone is in the hustle and bustle of the holiday season – setting up decorations, buying presents, and preparing to celebrate the holidays with their loved ones. It is the time of giving and kindness, the time to share love and happiness. It is a day of merriness and traditions, spent in the warmth of family and friends.
This time around, we would set up a Christmas tree and decorate it along with our dining table and furniture with the “color of the year”. Our house is where we usually hold large gatherings with extended families therefore, the event organizer a.k.a. my mom must make sure everything’s tiptop perfect. From the ornaments to the food, everything’s planned out to be in accordance with our Christmas family tradition (which means lumpia shanghai should be part of the menu). Of course, let us not forget the presents. We usually share our wish lists with one another but most often than not, I’m not sure what to wish for. Because what more should I want when I’m happy with the way things are?
But then COVID happened, it all put us in a rough spot, and we all know how it went down. For some, it was a drastic shift and for others, it wasn’t as worse. Even so, there’s no denying how it affected all of us. Nevertheless, the ever resilient and positive Filipino found a way to celebrate the most beloved holiday. For us, it wasn’t as large as a gathering before but the tradition of lumpia shanghais and parols still remains. It was just the six of us together but still, we had each other and that’s what matters. My wish, that time, was that COVID would go away.
This year though, we didn’t get to set up a Christmas tree nor propped bright, colorful lights in our front yard. We had no plans for Christmas, and no one initiated to do so. The Christmas carols are unbearable, and everything seems emptier than ever. For some people like us, Christmas is filled with sad memories of loved ones who’s no longer here. Although the pandemic is relatively better, it is hard to pretend that this year’s Christmas is exciting. I knew it wasn’t going to be the same anymore with two empty chairs at the Christmas table. It is difficult to celebrate, knowing that our festive traditions are now part of history.
Facing the first Christmas without them is terrifying. Everyone is in the Christmas spirit, but it all feels bittersweet. I’m still healing and a lot of us are, and I guess that’s okay. It is true that we won’t have the same traditions anymore but it doesn’t mean that we can’t find joy in making new ones. This year’s Christmas is not about the usual holiday cheer, but silent thoughts and reminiscences of past experiences we shared with our missed loved ones.
It takes courage to celebrate our favorite holiday knowing how difficult it is without those who were part of the tradition. With little effort, we can realize that Christmas is not always about the festivities, it can also become a time of renewal and growth. I’m unsure what this season will hold but as we continue our journey, we can create new traditions in remembrance of the past and the awaiting of the future. But most importantly, may this Christmas be a reminder that life is worth celebrating especially with the people who are with us in this difficult time.
This year, I have one wish: Wherever they are, I hope they will look upon this family with blissful faces.
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