Graphics by Justine Arriola
Everything about you baffles me in different ways I cannot explain; it all feels so different when I’m in your presence. It starts from how excited I would feel when your notification lights up my phone to how I think I am over the clouds when I hear your honey-like voice. Your laugh in itself is contagious; it even gets me smiling. I can see the stars in your hazelnut eyes; and how the wind blows your ebony-colored hair. However, for some reason, I only feel this way when I’m with you. Is it because you’re my best friend, or maybe something more? Perhaps, 𝘐 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘐 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶?
But alas, that is precisely the problem; you’re my best friend, and to know this would distort what we have into something it is not. I can already envision the aftermath: full of tension and discomfort. In the worst-case scenario, there would not be a friendship for us to look back to anymore. Nothing would be the same if I told you; therefore, I must avoid these feelings at all costs. 𝘐 𝘥𝘰 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶.
However, I desire more than friendship when it is with you. As time passes, I grow more fond of our companionship, which leaves me wanting more every time. I want it all, to feel the warmth of your soft hands holding mine; to go anywhere and everywhere you desire as long as it’s with you. Perhaps, it wouldn’t hurt to let you know these feelings of mine? Maybe, 𝘐 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘢𝘥𝘮𝘪𝘵 𝘐 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶.
Ah, silly me, what was I thinking? Sure, we may be happy now, but what about the future? Risks are still risks, and everything could still go wrong between us! In a logical sense, it’s more likely to hurt than it is to feel good. Besides, you cannot possibly see me the same way I see you. You are a person that everyone adores, and I am just there. I am way out of your league; therefore, 𝘐 𝘮𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶!
Yet despite everything, I stand in front of you today, telling you how I feel about you in earnest. After all, you can never know until you try, right? I feel so much love for you to the point that I am willing to risk everything for you to know. Nervously fiddling with the rose in my hands stretched out to you, I look everywhere except at your piercing gaze. I wonder how this would change us; our relationship will most likely change into something new. From friends to lovers, friends to strangers, or miraculously still friends: only time can tell. But for now, I have decided to be brave and jump in despite all the dangers. After a long battle against this internal dilemma of mine, I therefore conclude and tell you,
“𝘐 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶.”
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